Are Charming Men Dangerous?

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  • By Barry Laws, President Openrange. Aiming for a Safer Society.
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Are Charming Men Dangerous?

At worst charming men can be dangerous. At best Charm is a method of control. Read how to guard yourself from charmers. Remember Ted Bundy?

'Charm' does not equal 'Goodness'

'Goodness' is someone doing something that benefits you in your life.  

'Charm' is someone doing something that benefits the charmer.

Charm has a goal.  CONTROL over your emotions and desires.

Who uses charm?

Salespeople use charm to facilitate a sale, close a deal etc.

Abusers use charm then abuse, then charm, then abuse cycle.

Sexual Predators at bars, in schools, in public and online use charm to gain control

Politicians use charm to gain votes.

Anyone trying to gain control over you and your emotions can use charm.

Charm can feel flattering and be fun but...

When you feel flattered you lower your guard and don't want to see the real reason for the charm.

Is that charming guy you met at the bar just interested in your mind?

Is that charming salesperson looking out for your best interests?

Is that charming boyfriend or girlfriend using charm to get their own way?

Instead of saying "That person is so charming"...

ASK YOURSELF> "Why is this person trying to control me using charm?".  Answer the question and move forward knowing the answer.

Remember Ted Bundy was very charming!  How well did that go?

CONCLUSION:

Charm is not for your benefit.  It is a control mechanism using flattery.  Identify it as such.

People use charm to lower your natural defenses - to gain control over your emotions.

Charm can be flattering and fun but it can also be dangerous left unchecked.

If someone really likes you they won't need or use charm to gain your trust.

Please share... this could save someone's life.

 

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